I live in DC and I see groups of gay teenagers go into stores and loudly talk about the number of guys they hook up with regularly and then loudly get upset when the single mother they approach walks away. Being desperate for attention and constantly talking about how you're "pushing the envelope" by making people upset is though.
Don't get me wrong, being feminine itself is in no way annoying or awkward. In general, I've noticed they have more agreeable personalities.Ī lot more feminine guys adopt the I don't give a fuck attitude, which is great when you're trying to overcome stigmas and be comfortable with your sexuality but awful when you're being annoying and intentionally trying to make people feel awkward. I've never seen a masculine gay guy go ballistic when someone doesn't make gay rights their number one priority. They respect that some people might feel weird about seeing two guys make out in public, so they just hold hands. I've noticed guys be willing to do very effeminate or otherwise "stereotypically gay" things in a way that doesn't make the people around them feel awkward. The secondary thing I've noticed is that more "masculine" guys tend to care about what people think in a somewhat positive way. Coming out was met with aww, man! You could totally get ALL THE GIRLS now! I'm gay. I know that this is uncommon, though, and in general as a gay men who's homosexuality is not necessarily outwardly detectable, I have probably avoided some ugly moments. They wouldn't go near him, but he never experienced one iota of the harassment that I did. Those same guys, my former friends who were now devising ways to get me to withdraw from school, barely said a word to this kid. Belting showtunes in the halls, calling everyone Mary, rainbows on everything. He was the most out, screamingly gay dude you have ever met. 'We fuckin showered in front of him!' my fellow classmates would say when my friends would ask why they felt the need to key my car.Ĭontrast this to the gay kid who transferred into our school jnior year. The justification for all this was not just that I was faggot, but that I had lied about it. I was harassed, physically assaulted and the victim of theft and property damage. So what do you think, is life easier for masculine gay men? People that haven't known any openly gay people before might feel more comfortable around a "straight acting" gay guy and you have an opportunity to get to know people before they know you as the gay guy if you chose. As a masculine gay male you can blend into "straight society" when it is convenient and you can come out when it suits you best. The last couple of days I've been thinking it may be the opposite. I've always thought it would be easier to be the stereotypical gay man because everyone would suspect or know you were gay and coming out wouldn't be shocking. Someone mentioned that in other forums that aren't necessarily geared toward masculine men that there have been quite a few more yeses to similar questions. Most of the responses were unequivocally no. The other day there was a question asking basically if you would take a straight pill if it existed. So there is often friction here and in the real world between more masculine and more effeminate gay men.
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